I love...dishwashing.

It's been over six years since I've lived somewhere with a dishwasher. When I first looked for apartments in the Cleveland Heights area hardly any of them had dishwashers as they're all in older buildings. I was a bit nervous about the idea of not having that amenity. But then my desire for the location won over my desire for a dishwasher, and I realized "Hey, these hands at the ends to my arms are great dishwashers". After a few years there I then moved to Tremont and a dishwasher wasn't even a factor in my apartment search.

Over the years I've grown to enjoy washing dishes. Don't get me wrong, it's not something I want to do on a Saturday night. And there was the night a year ago when I was washing dishes before bed, broke a glass, sliced my finger, started bleeding, and as I started to freak out I vowed that if I survived the horrible cut I would never wash another dish [*spoiler alert: I survived. But only after calling my friend Megan and telling her I was certain I needed stitches; she kindly played along, picked me up, and as we drove out of Tremont she asked to see the cut, after which she told me that a strong bandaid would probably suffice. She was right.].


But again, dishwashing is not so bad. In fact, it can be kind of fun. And here are two reasons why:

1) Punishing the Dishes: In college, though we had a dishwasher, sometimes my roomies and I would still just wash the dishes in the sink, especially those dirty pots and pans. And when it came time to wash those dirty dishes, I didn't think "washing" them sounded fun, so I came up with the idea to "punish" them instead. How can you punish dishes? Well, I would fill the sink with warm soapy water, throw in the dishes, and then walk away as I yelled "Now you stay there and think about what you've done!" Then I'd watch TV until I decided they had learned their lesson and were ready to be cleaned...and then used again.

2) Kanye West's "Gold Digger": You probably know the song - and/or can listen to it here. It's fun to dance to, fun to sing along to, and -in my opinion- fun to wash dishes to. That's right, when I'm washing dishes I've got Kanye and Jamie Foxx singing along in my head. The reason is that anytime I go to wash the dishes and start pushing up my sleeves, all I can think of is the lyric: "There's dishes in the back, he gotta roll up his sleeves". And from there the song is in my head and I'm all "She take my money, well I'm in need...", and then it's just a big ol' dishwashing dance party in my kitchen.

Those are just a couple reasons why dishwashing isn't so bad. PLUS it gives me a reason to wear my apron. If I ever move into a place with a dishwasher I probably won't know what to do with it. Maybe I'll just use it to store sweaters.

Speaking of dishes, I have some being punished right now and I think they've finally learned their lesson. So I gotta run, Kanye & Jamie are waiting... "She take my money, well I'm in need..."

I love...random short story Sunday (#3).

Today I realized something. It's been almost a YEAR since my last random short story Sunday post.

Unacceptable, right?

So here you go! Take a few minutes this afternoon to read this ol' story I wrote about two bumblebees, cause it's story time on Jenny's blog.

Red & Pink: A Buzz Story
by: jenny chalk

Once upon a flower there were two bumblebees.

 

One bumblebee was named Red - he liked apples, stop signs and cinnamon bubble gum; he did not like the color pink.

The other bumblebee was named Pink - she liked cotton candy, flamingos and original bubble gum; she did not like the color red.

On one side of town you could often find Red buzzing near stop signs and smiling while blowing bubbles with his cinnamon bubble gum. On the other side of town Pink would be petting plastic flamingos and buying bags of cotton candy, while blowing bubbles with her original bubble gum.

Red and Pink had heard about each other and their opposite color preferences, but had never met until one rainy Thursday night...

Red and Pink were both out with friends at a local karaoke hive. Red had just finished singing his favorite song - 'Red Red Wine' - when Pink buzzed in. He didn't know who she was, but he thought she was beautiful. She got up on stage and sang 'Pink' by Aerosmith; Red couldn't take his eyes off of her. When she buzzed off stage they began talking. They talked all night, forgetting to even exchange names, and suddenly the hive was closing and their friends were ready to leave.

"Come on, Pink!" yelled Pink's friends.
"Come on, Red!" yelled Red's friends.

They looked at each other in shock.

"You're Red?"

"You're Pink?"

And before they could say anything else their friends were dragging them home.

Red couldn't sleep that night. He'd always pictured Pink as a gross, pink-loving bee, but she was beautiful and funny and he liked her alot. But could she like him back if some of his favorite things represented her least favorite color? That was when Red decided to change his color-loving ways and try to embrace everything about the color pink.

That night Pink had the exact same thoughts about Red.

The next day Red called Pink and invited her to lunch. When they met at the restaurant, Pink was wearing a red dress. "What do you think of my dress?" she asked.

Red liked it, but was confused - was this a trick? "Yek, it's gross," he replied.

Then Red presented Pink with a pink flower. Pink started to smile, then remembered her plan. She took the pink flower and threw it on the ground.

They sat there in an awkward silence for awhile; each thinking that the afternoon was not going as planned. But then they began talking and laughing and it felt so comfortable. Red talked about his job as a writer for a local magazine. Pink talked about her job as an antenna stylist. They liked the same kind of movies and enjoyed going to the same hives around town.

For lunch Pink painfully ordered an apple pizza and Red ordered a cotton candy souffle. However, neither of them touched their meals. As lunch ended they talked about different things they could do afterward. Red suggested a tour of the local flamingo farm and Pink suggested a tour of the best stop signs in town.

They buzzed outside as they tried to agree on an activity. Neither would give in to the other's suggestion. As time passed, it started to get awkward again. Pink reached into her purse and pulled out some cinnamon bubble gum. Red grabbed a piece of original bubble gum from his pocket. As they began chewing their bubble gum, Pink couldn't take it and she spit her gum on the ground. "I'm sorry! I can't do this, I've just never been a fan of the color red!" she cried.

Red spit his gum out as well, "I know! I really don't like pink. But I think you're great!"
Pink nodded, "So are you!"

 

That was when they realized that they didn't need to change who they were for each other. And they didn't need to like or dislike everything that the other bumbleebee liked or disliked.

Pink may not have liked the color red, but she liked Red.

Red may not have liked the color pink, but he liked Pink.

 

So Red handed Pink the pack of original bubble gum and Pink handed Red the pack of cinnamon bubble gum and they buzzed off into the sunset together, blowing red and pink bubbles the whole way.

The End

I love...2013.

  It's just over half way through the first day of 2013 and I love this year already!

I rang in this new year in a way that I haven't in a long time, or possibly ever...I was at home, alone. I had big plans for the night. I was going to get gussied up, go to dinner, then to a NYE party at my friends' house (where it was rumored there was going to be karaoke!). However, for the past week and a half I've been fighting off a cold and yesterday when I woke up it was obvious that the cold was winning. I tried to push through hoping I could pull it together, but when I got out of work early and stopped at the mall to find some last-minute cuteness to wear, I found myself in a fog staring at a sparkly dress that likely wouldn't have fit over my right leg and decided I should make the wise choice to stay in. So I spent the night at home with juice, a glass of wine, some pad thai from Ty Fun, my fanciest pjs, and the Dick Clark special, which allowed me to kind of sing karaoke when Carly Rae Jepsen performed "Call Me Maybe".

I proceeded to fall asleep on my couch off and on until about 3a.m., when I finally moved to my bed. Then I woke up this morning ready to start the day and the new year, but found that I had no electricity, and subsequently no heat. Soo...that brings me to right now, where I sit on the second floor of a Starbucks in downtown CLE. (*I note "second floor" because it makes me feel fancy. I'm basically like the queen of Starbucks right now, just sayin'.)

Granted, the second floor of a Starbucks is not the first place I thought I'd start out my 2013 New Year's Day, but it's been pretty cool so far. I mean, I'm the queen; one couple just walked in with a cute dog; lots of happy people keep walking in declaring "happy new year"; plus I had a gift card (bonus)! Also, this has given me some time to focus on a very important mission I've taken on over the past few years...to decide on the new year's motto.

What is a "new year motto", you ask?

It's the motto to live by for the new year. Some words to carry with you. Something to strive for. Perhaps some motto history would help to better explain:

2009: "Shine in '09!" This is when it started. Some friends and I were at brunch on new year's day and thought "we need a motto!" So we brainstormed, and it my friend Brian came up with "Shine in '09!" And shine we did!

2010: "Be like Jenny in 2010-y!" This motto never really caught on, but it's super catchy, right?? Whatevs, I lived by it. And I guess Jenny McCarthy did, too.

2011: "Name your drink giraffe Kevin in 2011!" This was the result of a NYE celebration on West 25th Street. I brought a bunch of those plastic drink hangers that are shaped like animals (incl. a giraffe) and we handed them out and used them all night. Soo...why not create a motto for the new year around them. (*"Be like Jenny in 2011-y" was not approved by my friends...whatevs.)

2012: "Rearrange your shelves in 2012!" Well, um, not lots of things rhyme with "12". People still weren't keen to "Be like Jenny in 2012-y" and why not take some time to rearrange your shelves?

2013: Now here we are...a new year and a new motto. After insight from friends and some serious thought on my part...the motto for 2013 is: "Don't be mean in 2013!" Sure these are words to live by every year, but since "mean" and "teen" rhyme so nicely, I don't think it hurts to reiterate the idea this year. So don't be mean. Just don't. It's silly. And this is a motto coming directly from the queen of Starbucks, so it's very official.

If you're interested, here were some runners-up:

"Keep it clean in 2013"
"Go green in 2013"
"Be seen in 2013"
"Eat Jimmy Deans in 2013" (*w/plans to ask Jimmy Dean to sponsor the year)

"Be like Jenny in 2013-enny"

Happy New Year, friends and soon-to-be friends! I hope you all have a great 2013...be amazing, be new, be inspiring, be you. And remember..."don't be mean in 2013!"