I love...blushing.

This afternoon I was stopped at an intersection downtown and saw an older gentleman dancing on the street corner as he was waiting for his turn to cross the road. He looked in my direction and I threw my hands up in the air and bounced my shoulders a bit to return the dance. Then I looked to my left and the guy in the car next to me was giving me a confused look...and I felt myself start to blush.

If you know me at all or have seen me out and about then chances are you have seen my cheeks get nice and rosey. It could happen at any moment. I can't control it.

I might blush for any of the following reasons:

I trip in front of a group of people.
Someone gives me a compliment.

I'm asked an embarrassing question.

The person next to me is asked an embarrassing question.

Someone on TV is asked an embarrassing question.

I say something stupid.

I say something smart.

I drink too much red wine.

I'm warm.

I'm cold.

I'm Jenny.

 

I could go on. But I won't. I'm getting embarrassed.

 

It's been that way since I was little. I noticed it more so in school, like when the teacher called on me to answer a question in front of the class or a boy I liked picked on me by hitting me on the head with his folder everytime he walked to the pencil sharpener (true story).

I used to hate it and at a certain point it affected my everyday routine. I spent time in class trying to figure out how to make just the right amount of eye contact with the teacher and then pretend I was writing down amazing notes so they wouldn't call on me. Or when my friends said the folder-hitting boy did that cause he liked me back I would find ways to not sit close to the pencil sharpener so he couldn't draw attention to me. It even affected my wardrobe, as I'd try to not wear much red so that if I blushed people couldn't say "Hey, your face matches your shirt!"

The thing about my blushing is that the actual blushing makes me blush more. So I'd start to blush, then feel I was blushing and blush more, then someone would say "Hey, you're blushing" and I'd blush even more...and at that point I'd pray that either my face would explode or the room would go dark so I could make a quick getaway.

I used to hope for a blushing "cure". A potion. A cheek-transplant surgery that would give me the less blushy-cheeks of other people who were able to handle random situations without looking like a blush make-up model gone overboard.

As I've gotten older it's gotten better. This could be the result of guys no longer hitting me on the head in front of my friends to express their feelings. Or it is probably just the result of becoming a lot more comfortable with myself. I'm a goofball who is sometimes clumsy and often says random stuff, and since I've mentally accepted that I think my cheeks have come to accept it, too.

 

But still, I do blush. The difference is that now I don't hate it when I blush. Sure it'd be nice to be able to control the blush level from time to time, but I don't want to stop it anymore. I've decided that it is just my way of showing that I'm feeling every emotion of every moment as they rush through my body and then ultimately show in my cheeks. And you know what else? I like wearing the color red and if my face ends up matching my shirt - cool, I'm color coordinated.

I have a feeling that blushing is always going to be a part of who I am and I'm okay with that. Actually, I look forward to that moment years and years from now when I'll be an old woman dancing on a street corner while I wait for my turn to cross. I'll be the same Jenny, just older and gray...and red.

I love...ornaments.

Ta-da! My Christmas tree is officially decorated!
 

See:

 

It's actually been decorated for over a week now, which is pretty good for me. Normally there is the long process of bringing it in the box down from the attic and letting it adjust to the hallway for a few days; then taking it out of the box and letting it adjust to standing upright for a few days; then I start to put on the lights but get annoyed when one strand goes out so I leave it in the corner in shame for a few more days; then one Sunday I finally fix the lights, add the ornaments, and...BAM: it's Christmas all up in my apartment.

Nope, this year I made it all happen in one day. It's probably because I'm getting to be more mature and responsible with age...ahem...



Disco ball ornament

When it comes to decorating my tree, for the past few years I've used purple lights and a set of silver ornaments. They consist of round ones, skinny ones, big ones, little ones, and sparkly ones.

There's even a few small ones that look like this disco ball ornament (did someone say "tree par-tay"?!):










However, wanting to add a little extra "Jenny" to my tree each year, I have happily acquired new ornaments that I throw into the Christmas tree decorating mix. Here are a few of them:



Save the Date ornament

My friend Colleen and I handmade this ornament in 2007. The bug (on the left) is a tribute to a small bug that we saw the previous summer. We were sitting outside our friend's house in Little Italy during the Feast and it was hot...really hot. We saw an adorable little bug on the sidewalk (and for me to call a bug adorable takes a lot), it was one of those little wooly/fuzzy bugs and it was just inching along. Suddenly it started flipping around like it was dancing. Then...it stopped. It died right in front of us! Of course we'd both seen dead bugs before and seen others or ourselves squish bugs, but never seen one die all on its own. For weeks after that we told all of our friends about the story of Little Bug (as we dubbed him) and his story became a part of our group. We drew him on magnets that we made for our birthday party invites...then we drew him on this Save the Date ornament, which was an invite to a joint party we threw for our friends Rachel & Matt that year. A few of our friends tell us that they still hang their ornament up every year...and so do I!



Chicago ornament

This ornament was a favor from my friends' wedding in Chicago several years back. It was a great weekend - we sang karaoke at their rehearsal dinner (hosted at a delicious pizza restaurant), celebrated their beautiful wedding in the Sears Tower (I know..."Willis Tower"), and toured the city. I thought that this favor was a sweet idea and now every Christmas when I hang it up on my tree I think of them and that great weekend.














S'more ornament

I got this ornament at an ornament exchange party a couple years ago. A bunch of friends were back in town for the holidays, so we all got together to catch up, eat, drink, and exchange ornaments! The ornaments were all wrapped so we didn't know what we might be getting and we passed them back and forth until finally whatever ornament you were holding was the one that was yours for keeps. I unwrapped mine to find this adorable marshmallow guy! And up until the moment when I leaned in close to take this picture, I thought it was simply that - just a cute marshmallow guy sitting on a piece of wood. Upon closer inspection...I have now realized it's actually a s'more guy! Even cuter! I guess you learn something new about your Christmas tree ornaments every year. That's a saying, right...?








Youngest child ornament
 

Last year my mom got me and my sisters each our own ornament. This was mine and it says "youngest child", because, well, I'm the youngest child. My ornaments don't lie!

 



Pickle ornament

And then there's this one. It's a pickle. I think my mom also gave me this ornament one year and said it is a Christmas tradition for people to hang pickles on their Christmas tree and that it brings good fortune in the year ahead. I didn't question her, though have since Googled it and confirmed that it is indeed true. So now, every year, I have a pickle on my tree. Yay! Bring on the fortune.



And that is the tour of my Christmas tree ornaments. Now for the next few weeks I get to enjoy the lit up Christmas tree each night as the holiday spirit takes over my apartment. Until, of course, I need to start the process of UNdecorating the tree: removing the ornaments and getting annoyed when they all don't fit in the very same container I kept them in the year before; taking off the lights; waiting a few days then folding up the tree and getting annoyed when it doesn't fit in the same box that it also did NOT fit in the year before; then tying it up and putting it back up in the attic.

 

But who wants to think about that, so for now I'm just going to enjoy this wonderful Christmas tree night light filled with lots of happy memories and disco dance party possibilities. Tis the season...to disco!