Hello, friends! Here we are: another Sunday with another random short story from my random collection of short stories...just like the random short story Sundays that have come before it!
This story actually would have been more fitting a week ago on St. Patrick's Day...but I was downtown most of the day, enjoying the holiday with random beverages. And really, who would have remembered reading it on that day anyway? So instead you get it today. Cheers!
Oscar's St. Patrick's Day
by: jenny chalk
Once upon a time, in a land right under your feet, there was an ant named
Oscar.
Oscar was the happiest ant in his town. He always smiled at the
other ants he passed on the street and he whistled a happy little tune while he
worked in his yard. In fact, all the ants in Oscar's town called him,
"Oscar, the happiest ant you'd ever want to meet who smiles and whistles" (the
ants had to be careful not to get Oscar confused with "Simon, the sleaziest ant
you'd never want to meet who smiles and whistles").
One day (March 17th to be exact) Oscar was walking down the street and smiling
at the other ants, when he heard a large group of ants laughing and singing inside a
local pub.
"Sounds like a great time in there," Oscar thought to himself. So he walked
in.
All the ants in the pub were dancing around, wearing green clothing and green beads. Some ants even had green stickers on their faces and green top hats on their heads. Oscar walked up to the bar, "What's going on?" he asked, "Is it green day?"
"No," the bar-ant replied.
"Is it top hat day?" Oscar continued.
"No."
"Is it recycling day?"
"No," the bar-ant replied, "It's Saint Patrick's Day!"
"What is Saint Patrick's Day?" said Oscar with a confused look on his
face.
"It's a new thing we're starting this year," explained the bar-ant, "we all
celebrate by drinking too many green beverages and wearing too much green stuff
and then everyone falls asleep in random places around town and we wake up
tomorrow wearing the same clothes we have on today. I read about it on the
Anternet."
"Wow," said Oscar, "Sounds harmless, I think I'll give it a try."
And with that Oscar joined in on the celebration. He bought a green
beverage, borrowed some green beads from other ants and put half his paycheck
into the jukebox, playing Usher's song 'Yeah' as many times as he could. The
last thing he remembered was telling an ant he'd never seen before that he was
awesome and challenging another ant to who could hold their breath the longest.
The following morning Oscar woke up in a tree. Well, he woke up sometime
between falling from the tree to the ground. "Ouch," mumbled Oscar. He stood up,
rubbing at his antenna, and looked at the town clock..."NOON?!" he
shouted.
Oscar crossed his arms and stumbled back to his house. As he passed other
ants on the street they waved and yelled, "Hi, Oscar!" This did not make Oscar happy. He didn't smile, he didn't wave, he just put his hands to his temples
and grumbled at the other ants to be quiet.
From that point on March 18th became known as Oscar the Grouch
Day.
As soon as Oscar got home he showered, drank some water, took some tylenol, and closed all his blinds before getting ready to go to bed. But before he crawled into his bed he marked down March 17th
on his calendar for the following year: "St. Patrick's Day!" And he added a green smiley face.
The End
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